There are really things that we should pay more attention to, but do not and this is usually the case because we find it difficult going against what the elders want.

Sphesihle had to make an appointment with Thembi because if she did not, then her marriage would have continued to suffer. This week, Thembi paid Sphesihle a visit, a lady who was not sure what she needed to prioritise, her marriage or family.

So, there is a man in Sphesihle’s life who took steps to pay lobola for her, but then, the problem here is that, he did not finish the payment that he needed to make.

And as a result, Sphesihle’s grandmother refused to let her go and live with her boyfriend’s family, the Vumas, but the lobola that was paid by the Vumas was not returned, which is something that Thembi does not condone.

The boyfriend probably had intention to pay the full amount as time goes, but because Sphesihle has not gone to his family, that will probably be a problem if it is not already.

Thembi also mentioned that there is a lot that could happen, another woman can easily kick Sphesihle out of her own marriage. But, Sphesihle made it clear that she has not gone to the Vuma family, but her and the boyfriend stay together and Thembi was not pleased to hear this.

Some time ago, Thembi talked about cohabiting and how wrong it is and regarding Sphesihle’s situation, she expressed that something has to be done as soon as possible.

The last thing that Thembi touched on was the issue of Sphesihle’s grandmother, it turns out that the grandmother does not want to let Sphesihle go the Vumas.

But she still took the lobola, which means that the right thing to do in that instance was to let Sphesihle go to her in-laws, the Vumas.