Patrick Shai’s suicide was probably not what we all expected to happen. The veteran actor had been under the radar like most local thespians, going about his everyday life without interacting much on social media.
His inappropriate video provoking Casper Nyovest leaves a sour taste in most people mouths, but the reality of his mental state cannot go ignored.

It has taken a while for me to come to terms with the fact that suicide has claimed another victim, because that is what suicide is to me. A death that comes after a battle, however long, with depression.

According to The Citizen, “numerous speakers at his funeral shared that Patrick Shai had privately battled suicide ideation for a prolonged period of time.” Yet similarly, he was being held in high regard by his colleagues and friends for his energy and the way he conducted himself both on and off the set. His death shows that eve a smiling face can hide tears.

It seems the only time depression trends on social is media is when someone kills themselves. The “be kind” narrative becomes a mental illness buzzword and none of holds any weight. One twitter user had a poignant view of the entire situation and it made me truly think. They wrote, “Never judge those who are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive…”

The reality is that it likely wasn’t social media that caused Patrick’s death, but the added pressure of people trolling him relentlessly and mercilessly probably didn’t help

According to the Daily Maverick, the suicide statistics in the country for the men are very upsetting, they say, “South African men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women.” It is something that is greatly exacerbated by the idea that men can’t show their emotions like women. I wish we could normalize vulnerability in men to avoid tragedy.

Personal thoughts
I have to say that I wasn’t aware myself how serious the suicide rates in men are. It is something as a society we need to act against. If we stopped teaching young boys that crying is for girls, they’d know how to process complex emotions through expression not aggression. I remember growing up that boys were always teased if they cried, even by the adults. It creates the impression that their feelings are not valid and they are. We need to encourage men to speak and not keep their emotions hidden.